Does passion make you scared?
I'm shit-scared of starting up as an entrepreneur, to the extent that I'm unable to get a good night's sleep. For a while I didn't know why... Let's face the facts:- I've pretty much lost the interest in money: That word is nothing more than a necessary evil for me. Of course you got to make money if you're in business, but losing money is a no big deal for me.
- I'm not scared of failure: Damn, I'm actually looking forward to it! I know it can be teeth-grinding misery for a while, but the best things in my life have happened after failure.
I just realized that my fear might be coming from the fact that I'm still not certain if leadership or helping others are really my biggest life passions. Can it be that I'm thinking "what if I could be doing something even more exciting?" that is causing me the gray hair?
Just recently I clarified that it's actually generating ideas that I'm truly deeply madly passionate about. I love starting things, coming up with unique - even crazy - ideas that might work. Should I already go and explore to make a business out of that, or should I just wait and concentrate on something that can bring the bread in my table? Hmph!
So many questions without answers.
Ending on a less philosophical - even vain - notion... I cut my hair yesterday. I don't know what was the final trigger in that - was it the people nagging for the past few years that I should do so, or was it just the fact that my hair looked like a bird nest every morning? Don't know. But now I feel incomplete. People say I look younger (which might not be a good thing in business where all the rest are competing with their years of experience and amount of gray hair). People say "It's not Tomi". That's exactly how I feel like. They cut off part of me... was it really me who made that decision?
posted by Tomi Astikainen @ Monday, January 07, 2008
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