Enter a funny title here: _______________

Mika

(Sidenote: Thank you Hopsu for reminding me about this, and thank you for being there for me!)

I have never had that many really close friends. I’m actully quite picky when it comes to letting people feel that they really are the centre of my universe, but I hope that those individuals who have made it there, really know that they deserve to be there till the very end.

Have you heard of the saying “True friendship doesn’t require correspondence”? I agree and disagree.

I must have been about four or five years old, when I met Mika the first time. Our parents were family acquaintances since they were in the same business (yes, selling sewing machines was a lucrative trade in the eighties). Our friendship got on the fast track quite soon, and not seeing each other for two weeks seemed like an end of the world. Indeed, I was waiting the school week to end, just to pack my bag and go to spend a weekend with him or vice versa. At that time it didn’t matter that I had pretty bad asthma and they had a dog called Pastilli (breath mint). His mother used to clean the flat for several days before I was coming for a visit and they would take an air cleaner to try and avoid the unavoidable. There I was, hardly able to breathe, but enjoying every moment with my best friend. Often I had to be transported to hospital in the middle of the night. If you didn’t get it yet, yes, I was pretty badly allergic to dogs (and for dozens of other animals for that matter). Anywho, none of this was a hindrance to our friendship.

During the summers we would spend a lot of time at our summer cottage. There was this uninhabited rocky island just less than 1km from our shore. We’d go there and run around but naked, playing with Heman minifigures, swimming, boating and whatnot. Our first big project together was collecting beer and soft drink cans. We’d bring them from abroad, buy them from our friends and collect them from gutters. By the time we reached 400 different cans we decided to trash them since they were taking too much space. We used to go to their summer cottage to warm up the sauna and swim. We played different kind of outdoor games and board games, with just the imagination as a limit… and it wasn’t really a limit. In the winter we’d ride snowmobiles (ski-doos) and let our fathers come and do the dirty work when the damn thing got stuck in the snow.

Then it happened, our friendship was struck by lighting, as he suddenly “grew older” and I stayed as a kid for a couple of more years. Mika picked up some nasty habits like drinking and smoking. His peer group enlarged to consist of people that I couldn’t really care less about, some of them being skin-heads. Actually, I don’t remember the details but somehow we drifted apart. Both of our parents divorced around that time, so it might have had an indirect effect too. For years and years we didn’t stay in touch. Sometimes occasionally we’d see each other by accident or by arranging a quick meeting somewhere. Those rendezvous took only a few minutes at a time, and somehow left me feeling blank.

Finally, after almost ten years of absence we saw an effort to meet up properly and discuss things through. It felt so good! As if no time had passed. The same friendship was still there. The same overwhelming feeling of brotherhood had gone nowhere. Although we were living in different cities, we started seeing each other more often. Mika would drive all the way from Joensuu to Lappeenranta to spend a weekend with me. And every time I would visit Joensuu I’d catch up with him. Even when I was spending the last moments in Finland, he made it a point to come and see me before I leave.

Now all the roles, prejudices and worries are pushed aside and our friendship can blossom. He has a habit of sending me emotional messages that make my heart bound and eyes go wet. For most people that would appear quite gay, but for us it’s a sign that not a single moment should be wasted when a true frienship is in question. For our friendship, absense is not an issue, but when we do get together we enjoy every minute of it.

I have witnessed that even after years of being total strangers, once very good friends – ystavat – can come together again as if there was no time in between. I have also witnessed that if you want to regain the once lost trust, you need to see an effort, but the true friend doesn’t ask for you to make the effort. You do it naturally.

Mika, if you are reading this, all the peace, love and respect from here to you and your loved ones! You have made my life worth living. I’ll hunt you down when I get back, so we can continue from where we left.

posted by Tomi Astikainen @ Tuesday, November 07, 2006