Current feelings...
It feels so weird that I've had the internship coming for half a year and now there's only a week to go. Now it clears to me: a bit over one week to stay in Finland - still the farewell party and Ilosaarirock to experience, packing to do, and weird emotions to go through. As a matter of fact, I feel really odd at the moment: on one hand, I'm delighted to finally leave for the experience of my life. On the other hand, I'm feeling quite sad to leave everything behind: extremely nice weather, amazing girl friend, good friends, family and the certain safety of this organized country.My Macedonian friend Petak said to me a couple of months ago that there will be moments of questioning whether it was a good decision to go for such a long period of time in such a remote country. Well yeah, I've got that feeling already dozens of times... and it will come back to me many times during the internship. However, he continued that at those times one should bear in mind that there was some reasoning for this decision, some inner motivational factors that urged me to take the steps I'm taking. Although many of those factors are so in-built that one cannot explicitly state them - or even understand them oneself - some of the obvious ones for me include:
- will to experience what it feels like to be different
- spreading my wings and testing if I can fly with all the rehearse I've done for the past five years - both professionally and personally
- will to build cultural understanding for the future endeavors in multinational environment
- need to test if my future plans really are what I should be doing - i.e. global entrepreneurship, relationships with the key people in my life and so on
- finding my place in a new environment (I've never felt that much at home in Finland, although lately I've at least become much more aware of my own culture)
No matter how confused I am right now, I know that there are good people in Finland that care of me. They - my friends, family and girlfriend - have lately given me the best of vacations. It has helped me to relax and charge the batteries for the coming endeavors. You know who you are, thank you for being there for me!
posted by Tomi Astikainen @ Monday, July 10, 2006
2 Comments:
Good bye sweetheart it's time to go...I hate to leave you but you really must go. Good bye sweetheart goodbye...
It's been a blast. Pidä huolta...
Well I understand your inner motivation. Remember that talk we had at the bar while the Hepokattis were choosing a PBOX?
I will miss having you around but we will meet again!
:)
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